Dear Hope:
So now you're back.
You don't get to get me back.
Jar Of Hearts
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I'm An Aunt!
Welcome to the world, brand new person Madelyn Grace!
10:47 am June 16, 2011
6 pounds 15 ounces, 20 inches
Congratulations Lee Anne and Tim!
my little brother
♥
Monday, May 23, 2011
Baby Fat
I'm a pretty self-conscious person. (*cough*Asperger's*cough*)
In addition, any weight I gain goes straight to my belly, which sometimes makes me worry that I look pregnant. I try to camouflage it, but I still occasionally get offered a seat on the subway, particularly when I wear a certain top of mine that "has an empire-waist and floats away from the body" (Stacey from What Not To Wear LIES!!). It doesn't bother me too much — I'll do almost anything to get a seat on the subway, and I haven't reached the stage where anybody's asked me when I'm due yet — so I just kind of tolerate it.
However, as I was standing on the subway platform the other day, I noticed a man near me who looked way more pregnant than I do. Like, gut-hanging-over-the-waist-of-his-cargo-shorts "pregnant." Shoulders back, hands on his hips, almost like he was proud of it. It was not cute. And it did not inspire in me one of those "Right on, man! This is who I am whether you like it or not!" moments. I just kind of curled my lip in disgust.
Maybe this speaks to some deep-seated self-hatred of mine, but I think it's really just an aesthetic issue. And a splash of good old feminist rage. I mean, I make an effort to dress to flatter my non-standard body. Why does this guy just get to stand there showing off his expansive midsection with impunity? And why do I have to look at it? Why is it that women, who have a built-in alibi — pregnancy — for carrying extra tummy weight, are terrified and ashamed and insulted that someone might possibly assume they are "expecting," while guys don't even have such an excuse and don't seem to give a shit? Why am I — unwavering in my confidence that I have pretty eyes and cool hair, great legs, a really great ass, and a not-that-bad rack — fixated on disguising this one "imperfect" body part when I go out in public, while this guy is balding and wearing Tevas and doesn't seem to care? And why is he in my field of view?? I MUST ONLY LOOK AT PRETTY THINGS!!
After all, I may be fat, but you're ugly and I could lose weight.
In addition, any weight I gain goes straight to my belly, which sometimes makes me worry that I look pregnant. I try to camouflage it, but I still occasionally get offered a seat on the subway, particularly when I wear a certain top of mine that "has an empire-waist and floats away from the body" (Stacey from What Not To Wear LIES!!). It doesn't bother me too much — I'll do almost anything to get a seat on the subway, and I haven't reached the stage where anybody's asked me when I'm due yet — so I just kind of tolerate it.
However, as I was standing on the subway platform the other day, I noticed a man near me who looked way more pregnant than I do. Like, gut-hanging-over-the-waist-of-his-cargo-shorts "pregnant." Shoulders back, hands on his hips, almost like he was proud of it. It was not cute. And it did not inspire in me one of those "Right on, man! This is who I am whether you like it or not!" moments. I just kind of curled my lip in disgust.
Maybe this speaks to some deep-seated self-hatred of mine, but I think it's really just an aesthetic issue. And a splash of good old feminist rage. I mean, I make an effort to dress to flatter my non-standard body. Why does this guy just get to stand there showing off his expansive midsection with impunity? And why do I have to look at it? Why is it that women, who have a built-in alibi — pregnancy — for carrying extra tummy weight, are terrified and ashamed and insulted that someone might possibly assume they are "expecting," while guys don't even have such an excuse and don't seem to give a shit? Why am I — unwavering in my confidence that I have pretty eyes and cool hair, great legs, a really great ass, and a not-that-bad rack — fixated on disguising this one "imperfect" body part when I go out in public, while this guy is balding and wearing Tevas and doesn't seem to care? And why is he in my field of view?? I MUST ONLY LOOK AT PRETTY THINGS!!
After all, I may be fat, but you're ugly and I could lose weight.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Just Destroyin' 'Em!
Oh, those wild and crazy mechanical engineers, they're such a bunch of jokesters. An early morning e-mail exchange:
From: [name redacted]
To: All Staff
Subject: Atlanta office and staff OK
As you may know, tornados ravaged the South yesterday like Sherman marching to the Sea. The good news is the Atlanta staff, William and Kate, Charlie Sheen and The Donald all survived. Although we are all still a bit groggy from watching Mother Nature's targets on SuperDuperDoppler3000 well into the wee hours of the morning.*
* This a word-for-word, actual e-mail that the whole company, worldwide, actually received. Really. And yeah, he spelled "tornadoes" wrong, too.
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
Subject: FW: Atlanta office and staff OK
Is this guy a failed comedian or something? This isn't the first time he's sent a "funny" message like this.
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
I know. He tries way too hard. Seems kind of unprofessional/tactless for a natural disaster e-mail, no?
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
Yeah, that was the other thing. It's like if he was head of the Japan office:
"Hey guys, it's been really 'wavy' here! Har har! Well, don't worry about us Japs 'cause, to quote 'Get Smart,' that tsunami 'missed us by thaaaat much!' So things may be gloomy here, but like Annie sang, 'The sun will come out tomorrow!'"
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
"As for that 'nucular' (haha!) business, don't worry, be happy! None of us here are 'down with the sickness' of the radiation variety...yet. LOL!"
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
"Yep, we're all one big, happy nuclear family around here now! Haha!"
I think today's exchange deserves a blog post.
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
I was just thinking the same thing. Great minds yada yada...
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
"Great minds make great bedfellows! Haha! J/K! LOL! LMAO! ROTFL, etc."
From: [name redacted]
To: All Staff
Subject: Atlanta office and staff OK
As you may know, tornados ravaged the South yesterday like Sherman marching to the Sea. The good news is the Atlanta staff, William and Kate, Charlie Sheen and The Donald all survived. Although we are all still a bit groggy from watching Mother Nature's targets on SuperDuperDoppler3000 well into the wee hours of the morning.*
* This a word-for-word, actual e-mail that the whole company, worldwide, actually received. Really. And yeah, he spelled "tornadoes" wrong, too.
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
Subject: FW: Atlanta office and staff OK
Is this guy a failed comedian or something? This isn't the first time he's sent a "funny" message like this.
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
I know. He tries way too hard. Seems kind of unprofessional/tactless for a natural disaster e-mail, no?
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
Yeah, that was the other thing. It's like if he was head of the Japan office:
"Hey guys, it's been really 'wavy' here! Har har! Well, don't worry about us Japs 'cause, to quote 'Get Smart,' that tsunami 'missed us by thaaaat much!' So things may be gloomy here, but like Annie sang, 'The sun will come out tomorrow!'"
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
"As for that 'nucular' (haha!) business, don't worry, be happy! None of us here are 'down with the sickness' of the radiation variety...yet. LOL!"
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
"Yep, we're all one big, happy nuclear family around here now! Haha!"
I think today's exchange deserves a blog post.
From: BeccaGo
To: Co-worker Mikey
I was just thinking the same thing. Great minds yada yada...
From: Co-worker Mikey
To: BeccaGo
"Great minds make great bedfellows! Haha! J/K! LOL! LMAO! ROTFL, etc."
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Some Of My Best Pets Are Black!
hai guise its boo. im a littel confused. who iz this burt sir tiffy cat i keep heering abowt? evryones talknig abowt him being an american longhair. who cares wut breed he iz? and y does evryone think hes from kennel? dogs com from kennels not cats. wuts rong with u peeple? i meen if yor that bord y dont u just go play with sum string or somthnig n stop wastnig evrybodys time? jeez.
Dream On, Dreamer
You know when you have that dream that you're getting up and getting ready for work, and then you actually wake up and you get all pissed because you have to do it all over again?
Well, not only did I have that dream last night, in the dream it was also HALLOWEEN.
And then I woke up.
Talk about a disappointing way to start your day.
I almost wore the red feather Mardi Gras mask anyway.
Well, not only did I have that dream last night, in the dream it was also HALLOWEEN.
And then I woke up.
Talk about a disappointing way to start your day.
I almost wore the red feather Mardi Gras mask anyway.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Pay It Forward
"I stay within MY budget, why can't the government stay within theirs?"
Well, let's consider this: Are you caring for a sick kid? Has your house ever been robbed? Did you ever lose a job? What if there's a storm and a tree crashes through your roof?
What if your insurance didn't cover any of it? Do you have all of that factored into your budget, too?
It's kind of hard to predict when an EMERGENCY is going to happen, or its extent, or how much it's going to cost. Medicare and Medicaid, defense programs, unemployment, and natural disaster funds cost money. You pay insurance to protect yourself and your assets. You pay your taxes to protect this country and its citizens.
You pay for the house you live in; if you don't, you get kicked out. You can pay for the country you live in, or you can leave.
Good luck finding lower tax rates in Europe.
Well, let's consider this: Are you caring for a sick kid? Has your house ever been robbed? Did you ever lose a job? What if there's a storm and a tree crashes through your roof?
What if your insurance didn't cover any of it? Do you have all of that factored into your budget, too?
It's kind of hard to predict when an EMERGENCY is going to happen, or its extent, or how much it's going to cost. Medicare and Medicaid, defense programs, unemployment, and natural disaster funds cost money. You pay insurance to protect yourself and your assets. You pay your taxes to protect this country and its citizens.
You pay for the house you live in; if you don't, you get kicked out. You can pay for the country you live in, or you can leave.
Good luck finding lower tax rates in Europe.
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