Where It's At

My great-grandfather was from Armenia. The only thing most people know about Armenia is the Kardashians. The only remotely positive thing about this is that it's a perfect example of how all Armenian surnames end in some form of "-ian." For further proof, please see the guys from System of a Down. (If you know my last name, the answer is it was shortened when my grandparents emigrated to this country.)

People ask me all the time, "Where is Armenia, anyway?" My standard answer to this query is "near Turkey." The irony of this, if one can call it that, is that between 1915 and 1923, the Turks slaughtered approximately 1.5 million Armenians in what is known as "The Great Crime." It's possibly the second worst genocide in history, behind the Holocaust. The word "genocide" was even coined to describe this particular massacre. I'm sure the Armenians don't exactly appreciate this association.

A better answer, I've found, to the question of Armenia's location is "ancient Troy." Which technically, of course, makes me a Trojan.

I prefer this explanation.

Seriously?

Perhaps it's fitting that the two words best describing my reaction to this post are "stupefied" and "dumbfounded." But then again, I am only a white girl...

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Talkin' 'Bout My Generation

Of the following 2 choices, which do you believe most accurately applies to the recent Washington, D.C. "Restoring Honor" rally, audaciously held on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s historical "I Have A Dream" speech?

(A) "The Woodstock of the next generation" [excerpt courtesy of Glenn Beck]
(B) "Glenn Beck's Slob Picnic" [excerpt courtesy of Wonkette]

For those of you who chose (A) and are keeping track at home, the order now goes:

1. Original Woodstock
2. Mud Woodstock*
3. Fire Woodstock
4. Teabaggage Woodstock, aka (to fallaciously reference another generation-defining music festival), GlennBeckPalooza

*I WAS AT THAT ONE!!! HOW FUCKIN' COOL AM I?!?

Zero Grounds

I'm too lazy and pissy right now to re-type all of this and lay it out in proper blog format, but if you were curious as to my strongly-held opinions regarding Park51 — the infamous "Ground Zero Mosque" — you may observe them here, on this badly-done MS Paint reproduction of the forum in which I do all my serious political debating: Facebook.

[Click to magnify to normal reading size. Selected comments unrelated to the outcome have been removed.]

The link to the original story may be found here.

(Also, in case you were wondering, that's Miss Kazakhstan during the national costume portion of the Miss Universe pageant in my avatar.)

Get Your Facts Straight/Gay/Whatever

Dear Prop 8 Supporters/Sore Losers/Bigoted Imbeciles:

Stop with your stupid "gay activist judge/government interference" arguments already. Prop 8 WAS government interference by "moral" activists and it was overturned because it was UNCONSTITUTIONAL. You know, like, against the law? Like not letting black people sit where they want on the bus?

"BUT THE PEOPLE VOTED!!!" Yeah! And you know what else happened when people voted and it got overruled? George W. Bush. The Florida Supreme Court ruled that its ballot recount was unconstitutional, and Al Gore lost the 2000 presidential election, even though he had won the popular vote. Remember that?

Try thinking of it this way: If enough people voted "yes" to take away your guns, even though it was illegal, would you be ok with it? Or would you riot?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Get over it,
BeccaGo

You Say "Gaddafi," I Say "God-Daffy"...

Headline: Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi calls for a jihad against Switzerland.

SWITZERLAND.

I'd love to hear the reasoning behind that one: "Yeah! We've got to get those militant Swiss bitches! They're gonna PAY for being so damn neutral!"

Muammar, buddy, stop trying so hard. It's just not sexy...