Memo To Any Potential Fiancé(s):
Please don’t buy me a ring.
Really.
Rings are useless. I’d prefer you put the money towards a down payment on a brownstone, or a Balinese vacation, or a lifetime supply of tattoos. Or donate it to charity. Or better yet: just save it.
If you must get a ring, don’t buy me a diamond.
Really.
This one’s non-negotiable. Diamonds are blood on your literal hands. They are vile, consumerist, and ostentatious. Least of these, they’re not even original. If you buy me a diamond, you don’t know me well enough to marry me.
If you insist on a ring, I prefer emeralds or pearls. Really.
I come cheap, but I’m high-value.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
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