Mourning

Part I

Today, the underwire of my favorite leopard-print bra snapped while I was wearing it.

Ladies and gentlemen, a moment of silence.

And a Band-Aid for where it kept stabbing me in the ribs, too, please. Thanks.

Part II

Dear Boy In The Wool Trench Coat Who Got Off The Q Train At Canal St.:

Men as pretty as you should not be allowed to exist. You pain us mere mortals/straight women with your unattainable beauty.

Sorry about the staring.