Yet Another Reason Why I Love My Brother, But Not In A Creepy Angelina Jolie Way

Seeking reassurance after some past boy trouble...

Me: "But I shouldn't even be upset, because I can do better than him, right?"
Him: "I could take a shit in a piece of Tupperware and you could carry that around and take it to the movies with you and it would be better than him."

...he always knows just the right things to say. :)