Where It's At

My great-grandfather was from Armenia. The only thing most people know about Armenia is the Kardashians. The only remotely positive thing about this is that it's a perfect example of how all Armenian surnames end in some form of "-ian." For further proof, please see the guys from System of a Down. (If you know my last name, the answer is it was shortened when my grandparents emigrated to this country.)

People ask me all the time, "Where is Armenia, anyway?" My standard answer to this query is "near Turkey." The irony of this, if one can call it that, is that between 1915 and 1923, the Turks slaughtered approximately 1.5 million Armenians in what is known as "The Great Crime." It's possibly the second worst genocide in history, behind the Holocaust. The word "genocide" was even coined to describe this particular massacre. I'm sure the Armenians don't exactly appreciate this association.

A better answer, I've found, to the question of Armenia's location is "ancient Troy." Which technically, of course, makes me a Trojan.

I prefer this explanation.

Obsolete

To all those who have ever used the "It's gonna look ridiculous when you're 80" anti-tattoo argument:

Think of how many people in the 18-34 demographic are getting tattoos these days. Realize that they are all aging at the same rate. Therefore, when I'm 80, my tattoo will look just as ridiculous as every other 80-year-old's. They'll have become so prevelant, they probably won't even register. Remember pierced ears were freakish, too, once upon a time, but I'm not gonna point and laugh at your grandma for still wearing earrings.

So shut it.