Paranormal Lack-tivity

Casual conversation with a co-worker:

Him: "[Girlfriend] is out of town so now I can catch up on my scary movies."
Me: "Scary movies?"
Him: "Yeah, her punk-ass won't watch scary movies."
Me: "Did you just call your girlfriend a punk-ass?"
Him: "Well, she doesn't like scary movies!"

Ruefully, I'm gonna have to give him that. Absolute qualification for punk-ass-ness, right there.

Give 'Em Hell

Today I attended a departmental procedural meeting in which these two sentences, in regard to the same topic, were spoken within minutes of each other:

"EVERYTHING has to be EXACTLY the same."
"Ignore any inconsistencies."

And it was 83 degrees in the office.

I don't believe these incidents were unrelated or coincidental. It is my belief that they pointedly serve to prove that my job is, literally, Hell.

Boo.

Devastatingly, due to lack of funds and insufficient prep time, I had to forgo an elaborate Halloween costume this year. Now if you know anything about me at all, you realize just how devastating a tragedy this is to have befallen me. However, like a phoenix in a wig and fake blood, I shall rise from the ashes of this finery failure and emerge next holiday in victory and even greater splendor! You know, since I have a whole extra year to work on the thing now. LITTLE DEAD RIDING HOOD LIVES!

So anyway...since I had no other plans, I decided to go to the parade in the Village. And even though I would only be watching, I couldn't betray the spirit of my favorite day of the year by just wearing everyday clothes. I had to do something...

Everyone who knows anything about me at all: "So are you getting dressed up?"
Me: "Not really."

"Not really" = sequined top hat with feathers, old prom dress, Mardi Gras beads, striped stockings, leopard print heels; elaborate face paint.

Elderly gentleman on the street: "That's a very striking costume!"
Me: "Oh, this is just what I wear every Sunday..."

The beginning of the parade was AMAZING, but it slowly tapered off into random people simply walking by wearing costumes. Since I consider myself something of an expert on all things Halloween, and because I'm just a judgemental bitch...

Presenting:

THE BeccaGo HALLOWEEN 2010 "I WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT" AWARDS!

Best Group Costume: Zombie Golden Girls
Best Family Costume: Darth Vader (dad), Princess Leia (mom), and Yoda (baby)
Best Couples Costume: Where's Waldo? and Carmen Sandiego
Best Individual Costume: Up (guy in an aviator cap holding a bunch of balloons with a dollhouse tied to the strings)

And, just to prove that the "sexy" costume craze has gone FAR too far:

Top Honors go to...

SEXY BEDBUG!

Trick or treat, bitches! :D

Why I May Not Be Cut Out For eHarmony, or, What? It Can Reveal A Lot About A Person!

Today I got to the "ask your own questions" stage with one of my eHarmony matches. My first question:

"Would you rather fight a zombie or a giant spider?"

It's best to get the fundamentals out of the way right off the bat...

Release The Kraken!

Very disappointed that the mechanical owl had only a brief cameo in the new Clash Of The Titans.

UPDATE: And I find the portrayal of Medusa offensive. Get your feminine mytholgy straight, people. It's like making a movie about Christianity where Jesus is a flesh-eating zombie.