THIS! Is Project Drunkway!

I was merely innocently inquiring after my sister's Halloween costume progress when this happened:

"I just stopped at Jo-Ann Fabrics last night so I got most of my stuff, yeah. It was way cheap there. It's going to take me forever though, to make it! Good thing I'm not on Project Runway, I'd be given the boot."

Hmm...

[cue fuzzy dream sequence effects]

"Courtney, while your design showed promise, you took on more than you could handle in the time frame of this challenge, and it shows in your poor execution. Michael said your garment looked like 'a disco Halloween costume bought at Jo-Ann Fabrics.' Frankly, what you gave us was disappointing, and a big sloppy mess. Courtney...[big dramatic pause]...you're out. Auf weidersehn."

"EFF you all!!! This show blows goats! I don't need you! I'll be famous on my own! You'll see! Suck it Korrrrrrrrs!!!"

Tim Gunn: "Courtney, I'm so sorry, but I have to send you upstairs to clean up your space. Please don't hurt me. We have security on standby and I'm not opposed to utilizing their services if neccesary."

"Tim, I loved you with all my heart, but now I see you're nothing but a dirty, filthy TRAITOR!!! Take your vocab and SHOVE it, Gunn!!!" [flails about the workspace, knocking over forms and tearing fabric]

Tim: "Well, I am incredulous of this utterly preposterous demonstration of vitriol. Bitch be trippin'!" [busts out some nunchucks] "Bring it, yo! I got your tulle right here!" [motions to crotch; pauses to adjust cuff link]

Meanwhile, back on the runway...

Kors: "Jesus Christ, what was that all about? And we thought Kenley was bad!"
Heidi: "I know! I was like, whoa, that was totally unexpected! She seemed pretty normal before, no?"
Nina: "That display. Was. Taste. Less."
Guest judge Lindsay Lohan: "Eh, I've seen worse." [passes out and falls backwards out of chair]

The next morning, in the workroom...

Carol Hannah: "Oh my gawd, y'all! Courtney destroyed the whole workroom when she left? And now everything's, like, ruined?"
Nicolas: "Strangely, my garment actually looks better."
Christopher: [cries, hands in Miss America/prayer position]
Gordana: "Vhy vould zhe dooo thees? Eet iss so oonfear. Een former Yugoslavia, zhe woot be vipped een veelage square for thees crime."
Logan: "..."
Irina, in interview: "Everyone's like, outraged over this whole thing, like all of their stuff wasn't crap to begin with. I mean, I'm obviously the only one here with a legitimate reason to be pissed. You know she just did it out of jealousy because she knows how much she sucks, compared to me."
Carol Hannah, in interview: "I'ma cut that bitch with a seam ripper. Irina, I mean."

At the next challenge...

Heidi: "Carol Hannah, you were the winner of the last chall—"
Kanye West, in a special guest appearance: "Yo, Heineken, I'ma let you finish, but Courtney's garment was the best EVER MADE! EVER MADE!"

Shameless Garnier product placement guy: "That man desperately needs a hair makeover..."

[roll credits]