Idolization

Ok, I realize that by posting this I am outing myself as a creepy stalker-type, but I at least hope not to the extent of the exchange I am about to share.

So, first things first: I love Adam Lambert. Not so much in a "ZOMG HE'S SoOoO HAWT HE TOTALLY SHOULD OF [sic] WON!!!1!" way (I didn't even watch the last season of American Idol), but more of an if-I-was-a-gay-guy-I-would-be-Adam-Lambert kind of way. Seriously, the more I see of him and read about him or hear him in interviews, the more I'm convinced we'd be the same person if it weren't for the genitalia. Same taste in boys, even — I swear!

Anyway...I follow a lot of famous people on Twitter because I find it interesting. For example, Dave Navarro is a damn funny guy, and Shawn Marion can't spell. Learning things like this amuses me. So naturally, I follow Adam Lambert, and one day, in that roundabout, six-Tweets-of-separation sort of way, I discover that he has a brother named Neil, and that Neil is also on Twitter, and that he has a blog, and that it's pretty freakin' funny. So I decide to follow him, too. Neil doesn't seem to be quite as gracious and diplomatic as his famous sibling. Case in point, my favorite Tweet of his to date:

@d___ would you like my attitude any more if I told you to fuck yourself and get off my internet? Would that brighten me up for you?

You can see why he appeals to me. >:)

Neil also appears to have some pretty strong political opinions, and whether you agree with him or not, you can imagine what it's like when the world of hardcore liberal politics collides with the Glambert Army: Clueless Tween Fangirl Division. However, in case you can't, I will now provide an illustration — an exact, unedited transcript — that I'm not sure whether to classify as "utterly hilarious" or "extremely sad and pathetic":

negativeneil: Kill Lieberman, make Howard Dean the entire legislative branch.
t___: @negativeneil I cannot even.... WHAT. *insert indescribable Howard Dean noise here*
negativeneil: @t___ oh, right, you must be one of those morons who disregard the man based on a 1 second clip. Congrats, you're a waste of afterbirth!
t___: @negativeneil LMFAO it was a joke, Neil.
t___: OMFG BRB PUKING OMFG NEIDLDSAF
t___: @adamlambert LMFAO your brother just called me a waste of afterbirth. tell him i said... thanks??
t___: lmfao i think my heart fell out of my ass IDEK
t___: shaking. not crying. but shaking.
t___: LOL brb getting ice cream to drown my ~unrequited love~ sorrows in :( NEIL :(
t___: LOL i feel like such a douche. i called my brother and screamed into the phone about neil and he's like UHM I'M AT WORK. lol fuck.
t___: LOL my mom. "...Are you okay? You look like you just pooped your pants." YOU COULD SAY THAT.
t___: NO but i just realized. one degree from adam. ONE. okay i'm done now. ............................................. ONE.

Uh, honey? One degree or not, he called you A WASTE OF AFTERBIRTH. I really don't know if that warrants such a level of excitement. But hey, maybe I'm just being negative. HA! Get it?!?

I'm now going to get some ice cream to drown my ~despair for the future of the human race~ in...