If you've ever, at any time, traversed any pedestrian stretch of Times Square, you've no doubt encountered these "Hey, do you like stand-up comedy?" guys. They're a particularly smug and obnoxious brand of street hawker. The most common response to the plethora of people passing out flyers in this city, if one is even given at all, is usually just a simple "No." Try this approach with the stand-up comedy guys, however, and they get all, "No? You mean you don't like comedy? Don't you like to have fun??" HAHAHA AMIRITE?!? Gee, buddy, you sure got me there. Way to be. My sister once got lost when she first started working here and managed to parlay the following exchange into an Overheard In New York quote that got published in the Metro:
Stand-up jackass: "Hey, do you like stand-up comedy?"
Sister: "Do you know where the nearest Duane Reade is?"
Stand-up jackass: "I asked you first!"
He seriously would not answer her.
So today, on the way to meet my sister at her office, I discovered my new favorite method of dealing with these douches: When one inevitably confronts you with "Hey, do you like stand-up comedy?" respond "I do stand-up comedy!" and hand them a flyer you took from the guy down the block. The best part is, you won't even be lying — their reaction is pretty damn comical.
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Hey, that's pretty damn funny. As it happens, I do like stand up comedy. So what happens if I say "Yes"?
ReplyDeleteThey'll hold you hostage for like, 20 minutes trying to get you to buy tickets to their show. They're relentless. :)
ReplyDeleteAre they ever funny? Is the show on the street, or in an alley or something? Not sure why I am so interested in this except in the dark recesses of my mind I may be considering running away to NY to become one of these guys. I'll get you to buy a ticket to my show. Wait and see....
ReplyDeleteHA!
ReplyDeleteWe ha a similar problem here!
Not with comedians, but with Hassidic Jews trying to save lost souls.
So, should I walk with The Bible in my hand to scare them out?
LOL
@TCHC: Ha! No shows on the street. There are comedy clubs EVERYWHERE in that area. They're almost more prolific than Starbucks. I've never been to one of those particular shows, and I refuse to on prinicple, so I don't know if they're funny and I NEVER WILL!
ReplyDelete@Dalia: You should walk with Neil. :D
HAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteI want to scare them, not to murder them! :D