I'm, Like, All Cultured And Shit

Transcript of an earlier e-mail conversation with my sister:

Her: "Hey, want to see Mary Stuart on Broadway?"
Me: "Who's Mary Stuart?"
Her: "Uh...she's like, this English chick who was in charge and stuff...?"
Me: "Oh! Mary, Queen of Scots! I'm retarded. I thought it was just a random name, like Billy Elliot."
Her: "She was Billy Elliot's dance teacher, actually."
Me: "Yeah, I heard it's a happy little musical. She goes dancing off to her execution."
Her: "On roller skates! No, wait — that's Xanadu.
Me: "And then she gets hit by a falling chandelier instead of a guillotine!"

Quick, someone get Andrew Lloyd Webber on the phone!