I finally got my new iPod yesterday — I've been without for almost a year (A YEAR!) — so, of course, after about 2 and a half hours of bewildered fiddling with iTunes and LimeWire (I am the most technologically-impaired person you will ever meet — you should see my antiquated cell phone), I loaded it to the max.
And this morning's commute was glorious.
I forgot how empowering it is to stomp down the city streets to "Army Of Me," and how soothing it is to be able to block out the noise of other people's obnoxious iPods with "#1 Crush" and "Bombs Over Baghdad."
I'm also a great lover of paradoxes, which is why I'm such a fan of roller derby (tough sport/sexy outfits), Diablo Cody (former stripper/Oscar winner), and pretty gay boys (um...pretty/boys), so it gives me no greater joy than to be sitting next to some stuffy middle-aged businessman on the subway, in my pinstriped dress pants and pointy-toed flats, with my "status" handbag and a blank expression, hands and newspaper folded primly in my lap, and blasting Nine Inch Nails.
I'm so badass.
Thank you, Cleveland!
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You ARE badass. Have fun with your I-Pod. I have similar fantasies about mine. I begged for one for Christmas, got it, and have yet to download one song because there, as it happens, there IS someone more technologically impaired than you. Hello, nice to meet you. I love that you are a roller derby woman. I'm much too chicken to be a roller girl, but one of my hobbies is making up Roller Derby names for myself. This is my favorite so far: Suzy BoneBreaker. Or does BoneWrecker sound better?
ReplyDeleteSuzy BoneBreaker, definitely -- it's got that ironic twist that we're so fond of. :) There was a girl on my team named Domestic Violet. Also, Carnage Electra, Iris Carbomb, Butterscotch Cripple, SnuffAnothaBitch, Shania Pain, and -- my personal favorite -- Helluva Bottom Carter. My sister Courtney is Courter Pound-Her. My brother was a ref for a while; he was Guy N'Cologist. I was Peta Sassin (pronounced Paid-a). My second and third choices were Thea Pocalypse and Kitty Porn. I REALLY wanted Sybil Disobedience, but some chick in Arizona had already claimed it.
ReplyDeleteI was terrible at the actual sport (my signature move was falling down; if I was lucky, I took an opposing skater down with me), but I thrive on the culture. :)
Forgot 2 more favorites: Lauren Disorder and Allison Chains. :)
ReplyDeleteTechnologically-impaired person? I can understand (not really),
ReplyDeletebut how could you live so long without an Ipod? Ah???
Its like seeing a movie with no soundtrack...
#1 Crush
ReplyDeleteThat is one of my favorite songs!
"#1 Crush" is my stripper song. Uh, I mean, that is, if I WAS a stripper... ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd I went that long without one because along with being technologically-impaired, I am also lazy. :)
Those are some great names! Inspiring, really. I'll be back with more. And I think they might have a Wizard of Oz theme...hmmm. Dorabotomy? no...
ReplyDelete