This dance number is the most awkward thing ever.
I hate when they say "YOUR Miss Wisconsin!" I'm not from Wisconsin. You're not "my" anything. I don't want you.
Jesus! New Jersey scared the crap out of me.
Some of these girls sound really bitchy — "No, I CAN'T see Russia from my house," "Yes, security IS tighter here than at the White House state dinner," "The only state where you have the FREEDOM to be smart" — stop trying to be political. I don't care what they call it nowadays, it's a damn beauty pageant.
Miss Nevada's "World Series/Pokerface" line: WIN.
"Taylor-Treat-and-I-love-sweets!" needs to shut the fuck up right now.
For Christ's sake, Kelly, the girl's in a state of shock and has 3 minutes to glue her ass into a bikini — stop trying to interview her!
Jesus! Miss Colorado is 8 feet tall.
Dancer, singer, singer, singer, dancer, singer, singer, pianist, singer, singer. Why do we never get to see a chick Jello-wrestle or rock a drum solo or solve a Rubik's cube for their talent? Even a violinist would be a nice change of pace.
And of course, Miss Hawaii is going to do the hula. There's no way she tops this:
Last year's Miss Hawaii
Clinton needs to stop talking about how they won't let him into the dressing room. It's getting creepy.
Dang, these gowns are hideous. Get these chicks on Project Runway STAT!
Oh good! Here comes the really uncomfortable part!
Jesus! What the hell is Louisiana wearing?
God, this is like when they make the Victoria's Secret models talk.
YES!!! Mario Lopez: "What must you be thinking right now?" Miss D.C.: "Hurry up." LMAO!
New Mexico's on quaaludes.
I guess I'm rooting for California.
...so of course, she comes in second.
Annnnnd Virginia takes the pot.
Aww, her mom is crying. I can totally picture her shouting "My baby is Miss America!" just like Danielle crying "I'm a Cover Girl, mommy!" when she won Top Model.
...even though her baby looks like a beaded banana.
[Special thanks to Astra for that great line.]
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What about the COLGATE smile?
ReplyDeleteah... do they still ask these poor girls questions? That part of the contest is murder...I always changed chanel to skip that !
Here in Israel the contestants are more intelligent, and less beautiful, so I guess you can't have it all.