Pre-show (yes, I am such a fanatic that I watch the pre-show):
Good lord, since when does Clinton Kelly have facial hair? He looks horrible. You host a makeover show, dude! Didn't you look in the mirror?
Damn it, I was really hoping he was actually going to change into a bathing suit for his "swimsuit walk" lesson.
Hot DAMN! Miss Puerto Rico is GORGEOUS!
Are those clear stripper heels they're all wearing? Classy!
And Miss New York wins the preliminary swimsuit competition — heck yeah! REPRESENT!
OMG, Miss Puerto Rico's evening gown is GORGEOUS! I hope she takes this whole thing down.
Why does "the only redhead in the competition" have to look like Allison Janney?
I hate when they wear white. Bah.
Oh God, that ruffled periwinkle thing is atrocious. What is that, acetate?
Susan Powell says it's not all about the dresses and she wouldn't take points off if a girl stumbles. What's the freaking point of the whole evening gown competition then?
Jeez, none of these girls know how to work a runway. Totally stiff walks and frozen smiles.
...except, of course, Miss Puerto Rico. Strut that stuff, girl!
Holy shit, Miss New York's gown is FABULOUS! REPRESENT!
RUSH LIMBAUGH is a judge?? WTF??
I cringe every time one of these girls says "I, personally, am pro-life." I bet Rush is keeping tabs.
Oh, Christ: "It is my belief that marriage is the union between a man and a woman." Thank you, Carrie Prejean — NEXT!
Miss New York seems pretty chill and normal. Cool. REPRESENT!
Vivica Fox: "You aren't allowed to touch us." LMAO!
Ugh, stop calling them "chicken cutlets." That grosses me out. And how is that not cheating?
"Butt glue" sounds like a phrase I'd find in one of my engineering manuals. Or something really, really disgusting.
YES!!! WE HAVE A BATON TWIRLER!!!
Dang, Miss California! That was some back bend!
Speaking of flexibility, Miss New Mexico can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, and Miss Kentucky can zip herself into a suitcase. Just like Yen in Ocean's Twelve! How funny would it be if Clinton just left her in there for a few hours?
Oh my God, crazy eyes! Who the hell is this, Rhode Island? And she can recite like, a thousand decimals of pi? In a creepy monotone while staring into my soul, too? Good lord, this girl is scary.
"I believe I can be the next Miss America because it has been my dream ever since I was a little girl and I know I would be great at it." That's nice. I believe I could be a neurosurgeon because I've always wanted to be one and I think I'd be pretty good at it — hand me a scalpel!
More to come...
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Did you really watch the whole contest?
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! BECCA!!!!
poor girl...LOL
I have been obsessed with Miss America since I was 8. It's cheesy and ridiculous, but I can't help it. I was *named* after Miss America, for crying out loud. :)
ReplyDeleteI watch Miss Universe sometimes, too. I remember rooting for Miss Israel a few times, if that makes you feel better. >:)
ReplyDeleteDid you ever watch "What Not to Wear" in the pre-Clinton days? The dude (Wayne Scott Lukas) had this long, scraggly hair and wore this huge sweater with a red cross on the front. Hang on, I'll see if I can find a photo... http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:dmvT7nUbSp2bAM:http://ilovereality.com/Images/hosts/wanyescotlukas.jpg
ReplyDeleteYes! I remember him. And I remember immediately thinking, "And this guy is qualified to judge other people's appearances because...?" A hair thing that I do like, tho: Stacy's peek-a-boo gray streak. I've got one just like it. :) And who is this guy now replacing Nick Arrojo?
ReplyDeleteI don't like the Nick replacement.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes I love Carmindy and sometimes I want to give her a small punch in the head.
Aww, I love Carmindy! I always want to hug her for some reason.
ReplyDelete